Is it ok to be lost?

               Is it ok to be lost?

Waking up finally after snoozing the alarm five times,rushing out of my bed because if I don't,I am gonna be late in catching my 7: 45 bus,and would eventually be late for my first lecture.And I HATE to be late.Yes,just hate it.Reach college,on time,lose myself into the  intricacies of Family Law and get back home by evening.Tiring day but not unfulfilling.

Standing under the cold shower,getting rid of the sweat and grime I am struggling to evade the questions my inner self is throwing up at me.I try to shove them away.I admit I dread the answers.Or I don't know the answers.Maybe I don't want to know the answers? Urghh......please my inner self it's annoying.I am too tired to indulge in this gruelling.

Unmoving the questions come jumping at me.So are you happy? You liking your life? What about the future?Are you gonna make it? Bla bla bla....

The cold water dripping down my hair,carressing my back,tingling,trying to soothe the pain of despair,asking me to not bother with these questions,let them be.

Lying in my bed,the tears finally find their way out,the strain in my throat,I can' t breathe.It hurts bad,burns something deep inside.I am unable to decipher.I don't know the answers.Stifling the sounds  of the pain in the middle of the gloomy night,I try to get away in the arms of sweet sleep,to forget,to avoid these questions.I pray.Again and again to the unknown lord.I am lost.I don't know what it is.The pain is unbearable,choking.

I am lost,trying to make sense of my life,still lost.Wish someone could tell me if its ok to be lost?